i've made the unpopular decision to temporarily paywall certain preset collections. i am aware that this is probably unwelcome for many people, and i apologize for that. i assure you that this is purely temporary and all presets will eventually be available for free after a certain amount of time.

these collections will also contain more presets than my average sets, and come with additional goodies like custom borders, textures etc.

if you’d like to support me in a different way, i also accept preset commissions on an ad hoc basis. you can find out more here.

i have been struggling with mental / emotional health issues all the way from childhood. i won't go into the gory details, but i have severe depression and anxiety, with the addition of adhd symptoms. mental health costs are incredibly high where i am from, and there is a great social stigma associated with it. even today, asian culture is largely unforgiving and unsympathetic to mental health woes.

with the high costs & social stigma, i have navigated myself around my issues for years. most of the time, i keep it under wraps through a mix of learning how to pretend better and self denial. the scars run pretty deep, and i'm not even sure whether they're permanent or fixable. sometimes my greatest fear is that i am broken beyond repair. i am just.. pretty messed up. and i don't want to be.

each time i have thought of seeking help, the fact that a good therapist costs anything from $100 to $200 an hour just puts me off. it just feels like a luxury that i cannot afford, and it sickens me. i don't know what i will become at the end of the decade if i keep allowing these wounds to fester and rot. the thought of losing myself is a very scary one.

making pretty things and indulging my creative side has always been a bit of balm. if i could actually raise a bit of money out of this, i could do it more, and this would really contribute towards me clawing my way back to a life free of.. this hell when i'm around.

- get a professional medical health screening done. i've done a couple of free online mental health assessments which place me in the risk zone for depression, anxiety, eating disorder (binge eating tendencies) and adhd (executive dysfunction).

- seek out online therapy for the time being. this is a much more affordable option, and i might want to try utilizing this as a way of easing myself into more traditional means of face-to-face therapy. this way, even if the therapist isn't a good fit for me, it isn't as financially wounding to cut my losses and trial and error till i find the right one.

- seek out a licensed therapist / psychologist / psychiatrist who can officially diagnose my conditions and prescribe any kind of medication.

like i said, you absolutely do not have to pay for any of my content if you don't want to. everything will be available for free eventually. if you do decide to support me in any way (it does not have to be monetary, even a kind word or a prayer would do!), please know that it means the world to me, and words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation for you.